Doing it our way

I used to be so naive. I thought, somehow, romance was reserved for people who wanted sex- for those who weren’t apathetic to affection. Since I refused to deny how I really felt- who I really was - I swore off the possibility of ever being in a relationship like that. I didn’t want to conform to cultural expectations of what a relationship should be - I wanted to do it my way.

  

Six months ago, the impossible occurred. I found someone who was happy to accept me for who I was. We wrote our own rules. What was “normal” didn’t matter. We did things our way.

I pass for “normal” really well now, and there have been a few who assumed I was sexual too- that somehow my innocent displays of affection must mean I’m tempted to do more. It hurts to hear people making those sorts of assumptions. I want to ignore them, but part of me wonders if they know me more than I know myself- is sexual attraction a secret weapon that can appear out of the blue? Does my desire to cuddle have to evolve to something more?

Maybe I’m ignorant of myself - after all, I’ve only been around myself 24/7 all my life. Surely someone who’s only known me superficially has a deeper knowledge of my inner psyche… Heh. Right.

I’ve expressed my frustrations to my fiance. His words of common sense are always a comfort to hear - Our relationship is as unique as we are. Love does not come with a script we must follow- it’s an improvisation. We write our own script. We do it our way.

 

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Published:
05.06.09 / 12am
Category:
relationships